The Bachelor Buzz: Week 2
SO...we have made it past all 30 of the introductions of these crazy ladies and the first rose ceremony. Whew! Now in Week 2, things start to get a liiiittle more interesting with this week's episode starring Corinne (aka Female Chad) and Liz.
First Group Date: Wedding Photoshoot
Per usual, our friend Chris Harrison arrives at the mansion to deliver the first date card to a room full of "whoo" girls. It reads, "Always a bridesmaid..." and literally sprinting out the door are Corinne, Vanessa, Sarah, DolphinShark, Hailey, Lacey, Brittany, Jasmine, Raven, Danielle L., Taylor, and Elizabeth W. Seriously, I don't know who half these girls are, but whatever. Still sprinting and screaming, the girls jump into three Buick convertibles (Buicks, really?) and head on over to the location of their wedding themed photoshoot.
I just want to take a moment for their photographer, Franco. This sissy boy is wearing a tropical romper and has a 1980's pornstache. This guy needs to be my wedding photographer so he can make me feel all kinds of fabulous on my TBD wedding day. Or he should join Jorge the Bartender on BiP. They would make such a great team. Anyways, Franco gives each of the girls a different wedding dress to wear with each "wedding" having a different theme. The kicker is that there are not enough wedding dresses to go around, so some of the girls get stuck being bridesmaids in ugly bridesmaids dresses. Ouch.
One by one the girls begin shooting with Nick, and they are told that the one who has the most chemistry with Nick will get a little something special at the end. I've been watching The Bachelor for a long time, and I have never seen the claws come out so quickly so early on in the season. One girl gets a kiss with Nick...then the next one has to force one with him....and the next one...and the next one...until Nick has officially locked lips with half of LA. So romantic ladies, so romantic.
The best part of the date, however, is when Corinne is going around flaunting the fact that she is in a bikini as beach bride. This chick actually thinks she is Barbie. But then out walks the tanned and toned Brittany in nothing but a tiny underwear bottom made of leaves and some hair extensions. The look on Corinne's face looks like she is actually about to cut a bitch.
Brittany does her Adam and Eve photoshoot with Nick, and Corinne feels like she needs to one up her. In the pool, Corinne casually takes her top off in front of all the girls and forces Nick to put his "bare hands on her bare boobs". He looks so uncomfortable. All the other girls are uncomfortable. I'm uncomfortable. And Corinne is just carrying on like she's Gigi Hadid herself...and of course she wins some extra time with Nick.
During the last part of the date, we learn that Corinne is actually batshit crazy. She steals time with Nick three times, pouts when Taylor "re-interrupts" her, squeals every time she hugs Nick, and gets the date rose. We also learn that she doesn't know how to form complete sentences, so when she doesn't know what to say she shoves her tongue down this throat. Seriously Nick, where are your balls? Call Jaimi. Her and her nose ring might have an extra pair.
One-on-One Date: Not Sure
Danielle M. gets the first one-on-one date card. There is really nothing memorable about this date because she has the personality of a saltine cracker. They take a helicopter and land on a yacht, and Nick expresses that he is glad they are having a "normal day of dating." I didn't know flying helicopters and riding yachts was normal for first dates, but maybe it is when ABC has been paying for your dates for the past 2 years.
At dinner, Danielle M. drops the bomb that she was previously engaged, but unfortunately her ex-fiance died of a drug overdose. Now, I'm not trying to be unsympathetic, but Danielle M. is a nurse, so this raises a lot of questions. Did she not know that her fiancé was on drugs? Did she give him the drugs? I don't know! But I feel like there is something more to this story, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it.
Second Group Date: Broken Relationships
On the second group date of the season, Christen, Josephine, Jaimi, Kristina, Astrid, and Liz have the honor of going to Hollywood and Highland's Museum of Broken Relationships. So. Fun. The girls find Nick's Neil Lane engagement ring he picked out for Bachelorette Kaitlyn with a dying rose in one of the displays, and Nick talks about how important that 6-week relationship was to shaping him to be the man he is today.
Then, the girls and Nick get to practice breaking up with each other days or weeks before they actually have to break up with each other. Maybe this will help soften the blow when it happens for realizies. Still, nothing too exciting here. Josephine with her crazy eyes slaps Nick, like really hard. They save the best for last- Liz. She is the one who had sex with Nick at Jade and Tanner's wedding. And if you missed that detail the first time it's ok because she tells us a hundred more times. Anyways, when she pretend breaks up with him, she whips out her 5-paragraph essay and spills her heart out to him. It is super uncomfortable and Nick is squirming in his boots while the girls watching can't seem to figure out what the heck is going on.
Afterwards, the group goes out for drinks. Nick and Liz finally get to have their long overdue talk about their history and why Liz is here. Obviously, Nick is skeptical that she just came on the show to be on TV...which she probably was. He asks her why she didn't try to reach out to him within the 9 months since they did the dirty, and she says she doesn't like talking on the phone? She gives some other reasons, but I couldn't really follow what she was saying. Basically, she was full of a bunch of BS, and Nick gives her and her very aggressive back tattoo the boot.
Finally, Nick has to return to the rest of the girls on the group date and realizes he has to explain why he sent Liz home. He says, "Liz and I had met before I became The Bachelor. We had sex." Then...TO BE CONTINUED.
What was your favorite moment from this week's episode of The Bachelor?
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