The Bachelor Buzz: Week 10
Wuddup Bachelor Nation! I can't believe this romantical journey with Lil' Nicky is coming to an end. So sad. What am I going to do on Monday nights? At least they already announced that Rachel's season of The Bachelorette begins in May, so let the countdown begin!
The Morning After
Last episode, we left Nick and Raven to have a mOment in the Fantasy Suite, which is a classy way of saying the Boom Boom Room. Before entering the Fantasy Suite, Raven revealed to Nick that she had only ever slept with one person before and that said person had never been able to give her an orgasm. Cue Nick saying "challenge accepted."
This week's episode begins with what is the most awkward walk of shame ever. Raven claims that "Nick is really good at what he does," and for the next 60 seconds we are subjected to watching Raven doing her happy dance all over Finland. Her poor parents. I really hope she isn't watching with them. I guess we'll see how much longer Raven is doing her happy dance after she realizes Nick is about to give two other girls the big O.
Fantasy Suite with Rachel
I dunno, guys. I don't know what it is about these snow dates, but none of them look that fun. Rachel's one-on-one date with Nick consisted of them going cross country skiing. 1- I don't quite know what cross country skiing even is; 2- It looks like way too much work to have to do on a date where you know you're going to be getting your sexy on for the first time. But Nick and Rachel trudge along in the snow, and eventually they're like "fuck it, we need to get to the Fantasy Suite like yesterday" and get some of Santa's reindeer to pull them the rest of the way to their log cabin. En route to the Fantasy Suite, Nick tells Rachel that he wants her to call him Saint Nick...ok, Daddy....
Once Nick and Rachel get to their cabin, they sip on some spiked hot chocolates and Rachel realizes that she needs to tell Nick how she feels. However, like everyone else on the show, she is guarded and is having a hard time getting the words out. In their conversation, Nick gives her a million opportunities to say that she loves him. He's practically saying to her, "Tell me you love me!" and we are all at home like, "Bitch, tell him you love him!" With some liquid courage and some prodding, she FINALLY reveals that she is falling in love with him. Nick, surprisingly, tells her she is falling for her too, which I'm not too sure he is allowed to do.
Now that the cat is out of the bag, Nick invites her to the Fantasy Suite so they can make sweet, sweet love to each other. The morning after, he cooks her breakfast, so we know things must really be getting serious. I must also note that Rachel is wearing a penguin onesie, so that makes me like her that much more.
Fantasy Suite with Vanessa
Poor Vanessa. She keeps getting the worst dates. First she gets the zero gravity date where she ends up throwing up in a barf bag. Now she has to jump in an ice bath, run into a sauna, and back into an ice bath. I remember as a kid we would sit in the jacuzzi and then run and jump into the pool, and the thought of doing that now sounds terrifying. I can't imagine doing a more extreme version of that in the snow. Vanessa, like the barf date, takes it like a champ and gets it done. Nick, on the other hand, doesn't take it so well and eventually suggests that they just sit in the hot tub.
Next, Nick and Vanessa get into some #RealTalk. A lot of important questions are brought up, which is probably good considering they might be getting engaged next week. It's clear that Vanessa doesn't have any plans to move. Her family is important to her. Her students are important to her. Her ritual Sunday lunch with her family is important to her. These things she says are part of her "core values" that she is not willing to compromise on. Nick doesn't seem too thrilled at the thought of moving to Canada because I'm pretty sure his plan was to live in LA and continue to be a reality TV star. Actually, I'm not pretty sure. I know. I know because Nick has already signed up to be on the next season of Dancing with the Stars so it will be interesting to see how this relationship plays out.
The Rose Ceremony
Well, this rose ceremony was the most riveting of all because we already know Rachel is the next Bachelorette! Obviously, with only three girls left, Rachel gets sent home. I was kinda hoping she would make it to the final two and then we would have "the most dramatic season finale ever." Like, maybe Nick picks her and she says no. Or maybe he doesn't pick anyone. But no. Rachel got da boot.
The Women Tell All
I was going to write about the Women Tell All section of the episode, but I'll spare you. Congratulations if you've made it this far in the post. There isn't a whole lot to say about the Women Tell All except there was a bunch of "Jade and Tanner's wedding," "emotional intelligence," and cheese pasta. But what else is new.